Kmart Realism or Giant Eagle vs. Big Bear

What I do when I don't want to grade papers

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:24:08 GMT

I've entered the poetry blogosphere--sort of. Here.

I don't think I'll post here anymore, but I'll keep it around to keep track of people.

Quick update (with gaudy self-promotion)

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 02:02:58 GMT

I got some new shit up at Lamination Colony.

I've written a lot, revised a lot, couple of near misses at other places--nothing new just yet. I sent to 26 journals via post and got about 18 more online places in mind.

Been pretty busy--I teach MWF 2-2:50, taking Poetic Forms, and a Harlem Renaissance class. Been about it. Other stuff maybe going on, but I think I'll talk about that later.

Factoid: when Robin and Greg do it and I knock on the door they yell "we're naked."

Happy Birthday Charles Bukowski

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:33:11 GMT

You've been dead for 14 years but you still got it.

Update! Update! I'll be at the Laugh Hut this Saturday! (Kids in the hall reference, paraphrased)

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:53:12 GMT

This is for anyone who wants to know whom (who? I can never figure that shit out, who/whom) I haven't talked to in a while.

Summer is about over--classes start Monday. I'm putting together my syllabus for the ENG 225 (sophomore English) class I'm teaching. I have most of it done. I'm meeting with one of profs tomorrow to get some advice. Under the classroom policy I want to write "Cell Phones: TURN THAT SHIT OFF BEFORE YOU ENTER MY FUCKING CLASS." I don't think I can write that. And I've never had a problem with people on cell phones. I've probably just jinxed myself on that.

I didn't do a whole lot this summer--I just worked at the Writing Center 12-15 hours a week and wrote. I wrote more than I've ever done over a summer, this was helped by a three week workshop class, Mark Twain, and a weekend conference in June.

I've had three more publishing credits--two poems are forth coming in Lamination Colony, one poem forth coming in This Zine Will Change Your Life, and two in my first print publication--The Portland Review. The journal for the school I wanted to get into at one time--Portland State. That was mostly so I could live in Portland, Oregon though. I guess I still got a shot at that--Oregon State, outside of the city, has an MFA.

I've been trying to keep up with sending out--I use Duotrope to help me keep my submissions in order, and keep track of what I've sent out, etc. That sounded like an advertisement. Sorry.

I'm in a new place--my friend Robin and I live in an apartment on the westside of Westport--I'm a couple streets from the KS-MO state line. The complex is gated and there's a pool and patio area with complementary gas grills. It's not a bad gig. We got a balcony too.

I've been trying to write--keep at it. I got some stuff that should work and I have 30 journals, maybe more, lined up for mailing out next month. All the big journals are closed to submissions over Spring.

I think that's about it for now.

Bulldog Bulldog Bulldog

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:43:01 GMT

I dreamed that I had a bald spot in the back of my head, right now it's threatening to be a bald spot, and that I was alone still.

That line sounded more interesting in my head.

Tim Russert died. I found out when I got home. I alway liked the guy, and like how he liked the Bills and Sabres. He didn't seem entirely like a talking head. I don't really have much else to say about all that, they've eulogized him all day on MSNBC.

I found this photo though:

Really?

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:12:47 GMT

The first Royals game I go to this year was last night's. The one game I went to last year saw the Royals blow a three run late and lose to the Indians in 13. And now they're losing 5-0 right now.

At least an NHL exhibition game is coming to Sprint Center--Blues vs Kings 9/22. Me and Greg are going to try to go.

Dayton got better--Miriam bought me dinner Saturday (5/24) and we went to Iron Man. It was pretty good. Sunday night's reading went well too--I thought at least. Matt, who put on the show, was disappointed by the turn out. I had a good time though and I got turbo-fucked. I got Aaron to buy me a couple of beers. I then bought him a 40 from Meijer and we drank more. Then Jason got back into town (he went to Philly Saturday for a friend's graduation) and we went to Waffle House.

Friday I went to IKEA with Jason. I bought a bathmat and a cutting board. I also found out, on Friday, that I got PUBLISHED. A small electronic zine called Origami Condom took two of my poems. Adobe Acrobat is acting up on my computer so I'm not sure if the issue is up just yet--what's strange is that they keep the proof up on the site as they work on it. At least I got a credit to arm myself with for the next batch of submissions.

A girl that's on the review board of Portland Review facebooked me--she read my Davey Crockett poem and said that it "blew her mind" and that she had to find me and know me. I'll take whatever positive feedback I can get.

I thought about, every once in a while, Loren and Nikki over my trip back--mostly Loren. I think maybe I was sort of unclear about how I expressed how I felt about the whole thing. I don't know. That shit is painful.

I'm taking a workshop in June and will be working at the Writing Center and I'm trying to figure out a good schedule so that I can workout everyday, and at least try to write everyday.

I only really wrote twice during my trip--both times at Bill's Donuts. I talked Nicole when I got back into town and she said she was trying to do a once a month thing with Katie G., and Piper. Five poems a month is the goal. Something I can probably shake.

I need to figure out poems about the following subjects or incorporating these found lines:

Subjects
Indoor Soccer

Borrowed Lines
"They like mummies--even in Japan."
"I hear cunt prices are at an all time high!"
"Ride the tiger, you can see his stripes but you know he's clean."
"I do everything out of fear."
"You look like you have an Asshole on your face."

The first two lines are from Spex, the third Dio, the fourth is something my dad said that my grandpa said, and the fifth one was something Greg's grandfather told him when he came home from college with a goatee. Also I need to still work in Bonerjamz.

Any suggestions (Ki?) would be greatly appreciated. The subject doesn't have to incorporate the borrowed lines.

Hey everybody!

Thu, 08 May 2008 00:03:45 GMT

Yesterday was the 250th anniversary of the birth of Maximilien Robespierre. What a country!

Semester is over (almost)

Sun, 04 May 2008 00:57:01 GMT

As indicated by this thing--taken from Ki (thanks Ki).

Name ten things you would never do (again):

1. Major in Computer Science
2. Move in with a girl after only dating for 5 months.
3. Drive an ice truck.
4. Eat Oreos and drink wine.
5. Trust my heart to the Cincinnati Reds.
6. Go on dates with girls I met through Myspace.
7. Submit a chapbook to Main Street Rag.
8. Write poems with opening line "I fucked this girl once."
9. Throw up in Lewis' sink after getting turbo-high.
10. Be a housewife (that's the joke one).

Name ten things you would never wear:

1. Khakis
2. T-shirts with pictures of myself (in an unironic way)
3. Ohio State jerseys
4. A goatee
5. A flavor saver or a soul patch
6. Leather pants
7. Gold chains
8. Cargo pants
9. A Cubs hat
10. Cornrows (that's the joke one)

Name ten foods you will never eat (again):

1. Anything from Sonic
2. Gravy
3. Mayonnaise
4. Gizzards
5. Pinwheel sandwichs from Dr. Dean's grad reception
6. Anything from the Subway at 52nd and Oak
7. Giant Cheese Danishs from vending machines
8. Fried Twinkees after Quarter Pounders with Cheese
9. Spex's Bacon sandwiches
10. Ape (that's the joke one)

Ten European countries to visit:

1. Norway
2. France
3. Netherlands
4. Sweden
5. Finland
6. Germany
7. Czech Republifc/Slovakia
8. UK
9. Iceland
10. Spain (that's the joke one)

Ten other countries to visit:

1. South Korea
2. Australia
3. Kenya
4. Botswana
5. Brazil
6. Argentina
7. Chile
8. Lebanon
9. Cameroon
10. Rhodesia (that's the joke one)

Ten states to visit and possibly live in:

1. Oregon
2. Montana
3. Minnesota
4. Wisconsin
5. California
6. Washington
7. South Dakota
8. Vermont
9. Maine
10. Iowa (that's the joke one)

Ten states you'd be miserable in:

1. Kansas
2. Georgia
3. Tennessee
4. West Virgina
5. Virginia
6. Arkansas
7. Mississippi
8. Alabama
9. Florida
10. Ohio (that's sort of the joke one)

Favorite subjects to study (no particular order):

1. Poetry
2. the history of the NBA
3. Pop Culture History
4. Library Science
5. 19th Century Baseball
6. Bracketology
7. Astrology
8. Meterology
9. Sports Medicine
10. Intellegent Design (that's the joke one, hopefully you get it now)

Favorite smells:

1. Rain
2. Gasoline
3. Burnt Matchsticks
4. Pizza
5. Arthur Bryants
6. Cold weather
7. Roasted Peanuts
8. Schlitz
9. Ninjas
10. Lewis' farts

The semester is basically over. I have to grade Multi-Genre Projects this upcoming week and that's it. My goal to get out to 30 journals of a month hasn't been slipping too bad--I'm up to 14 and I'm going to try to make it through 16 more before the end of the week. I've been trying to revise stuff a little better.

This Sniper project is coming along ok--I'm not sure if I wrote about this yet. Greg and Robin are putting together an art show around this poem I wrote called "The Sniper"--Robin records someone reading the poem while Greg takes a picture of them in the process of that. Greg's goal with the project is to show how once a piece of art is put out into the public, it transforms beyond the control of the person who creates it--he's gotten about 12 people to read it so far and the readings have all been different. It also functions as some sort of Linguistic project. Greg needs 200 people to do it (I think). He needs a lot of people. He plans on coming to Dayton May 24th or 25th to take pictures and get people recorded. If anyone is interested in the participating that reads this dern thing, post a comment.

There's a Facebook group too. The photo of me is woefully inaccurate in that I look amazing.

Toot the horn

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:59:17 GMT

The semester has come up pretty quick--there's only three weeks left. Less than that. I still have a paper to write and I have to put together a portfolio of the stuff I've worked on in class.

KU-Memphis is going on right now. My TV died last Sunday--I told Robin about it.

"Your ex-boyfriend's TV died."
"Well he's not coming back to get it."
"Yeah. It was covered in dust and I think I fried it--my cable box was acting up and I switched the surge protector on and off."
"Did you unplug and plug it back in?"
"Yeah."
"Did you try different sockets?"
"Yeah"
"Did you hit it?"
"No."
"You should try to hit it."
"Yeah."

It didn't work. I thought this would help with my reading and writing--not having the TV on. I've figured out other distractions. Like the NHL offers free radio broadcasts of games (the only major sports league to do so). I listened to Pens-Rangers last Monday and fell asleep.

I have been reading more--just not a whole lot outside of class reading. Around spring break I made the proclamation that I would try to find new poets. It has not happened. Everytime I'm in the westport Half Price Books I've bought a Bukowski collection I didn't own before--I've finished War All the Time and I'm almost through Dangling in the Tournefortia. Lewis let me borrow Last Night of the Earth Poems.

During Spring Break I sent out to 32 journals--I used Duotrope, a writer's market an MFA student from SIUC recommended to me. I've been rejected by four so far--Crab Orchard Review, the Believer, Slate, and a website called Underground Voices. My goal is to send out to 30 a month. That might be lofty. I got a list for the end of this month too.

I'm headed back to Dayton for a couple weeks in May. I bought a Skybus ticket for about $130. Now that they're bankrupt I hope I get the money back. The Credit Union says they filed a grievance. I'll be driving--I couldn't find a plane ticket as cheap as that one anywhere else. I figure it might be a bit cheaper to drive too--we'll see I guess. The Cougar gets real good gas mileage on the highway and it has a big tank--I maybe put gas in it twice or three times on the way back last time. I've been broke this month--I bought the plane ticket and I spent $101 at Jackson Hewitt to get my taxes done--only to look at my tax documents and figure out I could've fucking done all of this by myself. I've just blown through money quicker than usual. I'm really worried about all this debt and I still need to get another student loan for the summer--I'll be taking some classes. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

My work finished second in a $200 prize here at UMKC--I made $100 and consideration for publication in our shit student journal, Number One. I guess it's not shit, but I don't like the stuff they published last issue. They seem preoccupied with drug fiction, young people taking them, and shitty relationship stories. Pretty terrible stuff.

My friend Scott won a contest through AWP--he's getting a short story published in Pueblo Del Sol, a kind of big journal. I think we had a couple issues at Nexus. I guess it's drummed up a bit of competition among all the fiction people. The fiction people seem to be a bigger deal. I'm not sure how I stand among the poetry people. Most are women--I'm one of only two guys here and I fill the "white rockstar" role--rockstar in terms of content and my own goofiness. It's a joke my friend Nicole, who won the award for poetry, make a lot. White guy poets have the authority to write about anything apparently. It's something that comes up in class. People from oppressed cultures and genders have a need, or are forced, to write about their experience, to represent their group. White guys don't have to worry about shit. Which is probably why I write epistolaries to John Belushi (well one and I'm still working on it).

I feel like my writing has gotten better--I'm messing with form and punctuation. I still don't feel like I read enough--Scott and Zac read a lot and Lewis reads quite a bit. Nicole knows her shit. I don't as much and I feel like I need to get into more. I'm reaching a point here I don't want to fucking just write out of catharsis--to write as a show off to other people. I'm not sure how to get there yet, and I'm not sure if I'm just over thinking it. I'm becoming more focused I think too--writing some of this makes me worried I'll jinx myself. I write a lot about location, or at least revolving around location.

I'm an idiot.

For Dayton friends and family:

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:16:47 GMT

I have the option to take a class in May or a class in June. If I take the class in May I'd be back in Dayton in July. If I take the class in June I'd be back in Dayton in May. Which would be more condusive for people? I don't want a trip back to be wasted.

Things to think about over break

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:57:51 GMT

Get poems in order.
Send shit out.
Work on new stuff.
I'm staying here
for break, I don't
think I want
to be in Dayton
for a while. Maybe
I'll be back in May.
If not then late July
or August. If
you want to come visit
that would be cool.
The one thing
I've been struggling
with is compression
and line breaks.
I'm trying to read
different stuff.
I've been reading
stuff for class
like Bob Hicok
Natasha Tretheway
Major Jackson
Rachael Zucker

Any suggestions
out there? I need
to read something not
Bukowski or Carver
(Scott let me borrow
Carver's complete
poems--it was water
damaged).

Postorino

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 18:19:37 GMT

The Round Mound of Rebound.

Pretty good stuff. Also, Mike Bibby a Hawk?

It's like it's the future there

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:33:35 GMT

Strap-on robot suit takes the pain out of backbreaking farm work

Japan wants to fly paper plane from International Space Station to earth

'Waist Size Story' DVD promises to fight fat by 'toning through tooth cleaning'

Komeito leader welcomes Ozawa's proposal to give foreigners voting rights

Exhibitionist trio busted for nude photos taken outside government building

Vending machine porn man busted for dirty DVDs done dirt cheap

Man fatally stabbed after visiting lover's house with wife to discuss affair

From Deadspin via Hug Harold Reynolds

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:44:34 GMT

To Kyle--

I guess you were right. The Ultimate Warrior didn't die from steroids. He's alive and well.

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:21:56 GMT

I saw Scott and Lauren today on campus (and Lewis too). That helped a bit. I might move in with Scott if his roommate leaves--his apartment is really nice with hardwood floors, and they have a enclosed patio too. I'm going to check my lease out again--I think I can get out of it with relative ease.

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:48:37 GMT

I shouldn't end long, self-reflection entires with ellipsis and endings like "I could have had her..." Fucking Bob would kill me.

Happy New Year New Year New Year

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 06:21:20 GMT

I haven't been in one location--city, country, state--for a full year since 2004. I spent the last three months of 2005 in Japan and didn't get back to Dayton until March of 2006. I left for Kansas City in August of 2007. I think 2008 will be my first full year in one location--god willing.

Jason, Loren, Nikki, and Aaron came out during Wed., Dec. 13th. Nikki flew back that Saturday (16th) and the rest of us drove back Sunday (17th). I'm glad they came and were able to see where I'm at now. They liked the apartment, even if it was sparse, and Nikki wondered how I lived without a can opener, sharp knife, and a cutting board this long.

"I'm busy, I live off of frozen foods."
"oh."

Nikki and Loren cooked for us twice: Spaghetti one night, chili the next--we used a mix called Six Guns that I saw at Sun Fresh a couple months ago. Both meals turned out well, though I felt pretty depressed. Everybody sat in my "living room," ate, drank wine, and joked around. I sat in the kitchen, by a table.

I kind of regretted coming here. Not that the people I've met here haven't been awesome, or the experience, or KC has been anything other than worthwhile. I think it was the feeling of being on the outside of Nikki--talking to her wasn't the same since I left, and she called her boyfriend a couple of times. There were moments were I took this out on her--this awkwardness not the boyfriend--like I got drunk on wine and yelled at her for spilling beer on my keyboard. Or when we were at Nelson-Adkins and she said that we needed to get ready if we wanted to make it to trivia night at Flea Market, I said "wait a minute, this is my goddamn town."

And she was still good about it. She drove when we went to the dog track, but I didn't sit next to her or talk to her when we placed bets.

It was pretty painful--that's all I got on that. And it made me think about what I left--a pretty good relationship, a strong group of friends. Could I have done this stuff back in Dayton? I thought about that a lot, and have been still thinking about it. I could've done grad school at Wright State maybe and did sports freelance work at the Xenia Gazette. Would I be with Nikki though? The new guy sounds alright, and they have pictures together. I think I had one or two with her and that was it. I feel like an idiot about that too.

She even bought me a gift, a bookcase, and she gave me her keyboard. And I still wrote her that I couldn't talk to her for a while. I regretted writing it and tried to call her, but she didn't answer. Which is valid--it was kind of a bullshit thing for me to do.

Being around Lewis, Robin, Zac, and Greg has helped a bit. I hope I haven't projected this around them. At least, I think, I'll be in one place longer than 6 or 7 or 9 months. Not that I've thought about uping and leaving here either--I guess I just need to focus on here. If I go back to Dayton there's nothing. I thought I didn't have anything back there if I stayed. Maybe I still would've had her, and maybe I would've been working somewhere.

To the NHL and/or NBA

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:07:41 GMT

Can you get a team into the Sprint Center pronto? I don't think the city can take any more of this fucking bullshit anymore. Especially in the midst of an ice storm.

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 18:21:51 GMT

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Crunch, Crunch time

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 22:46:10 GMT

I sent work to Atlantic Monthly's annual student writer's competition yesterday--the winner gets a grand and a subscription to the magazine. I mostly entered because getting shit into the Atlantic can jump-start a literary career--if I got one. Scott said his friend in Montana's MFA met a girl who got a fiction piece published in Harper's--after her piece ran she got a letter from the editor directing her to send future work to a different address--the one that guys like John Updike and Johnathan Franzen send to instead. Scott and I joked that maybe I can be that guy you see in a magazine like the Atlantic and say "that son of a bitch won? fuck it, man, that's bullshit."

Classes end this week though I'll be working on stuff into next week--mostly my pedagogy portfolio for my teaching theory class. I'm still not sure what my pedagogy is for teaching composition--a lot of my work is centered around teaching writing for non-academic "purposes"--not just to prepare the student for other writing classes, but help them critically analyze the world around them and to help them work outside of classes (resumes, letters, essays, artistic expression, etc.). I guess. I'm not sure.

The portfolio is the focus to get done, but I got a lot of other stuff going on--Wed. and Thur. I'm grading the WEPT, UMKC's writing proficiency test for undergrads, and presenting a collection of poems at a grad proposal event next Saturday--I'll also be grading my students' final project next week. Probably while Frisbie, Nikki, Aaron, and Loren are in town. I guess I'll figure it all out. Maybe.

I bought some new clothes today--I wear a lot of t-shirts and jeans, and the people around me (Lewis, Nicole, Zac, and Jennifer) dress a lot better I think--button up shirts, ties, etc. All I did was buy a couple of western shirts and a pair of khakis. So now, I at least look less like a computer programmer.

I'm trying to write but feel like I could do more, or better work. Friday, Zac and I drove over to Leawood, KS to US Toys, a toy store and teacher's supply place, so he could buy awards for his students. We talked a little bit about "wasting time"--just zoning out and watching TV or checking Facebook and Myspace pages. We could be reading or writing, etc. I think we both sort of felt the same about it.

I was back in Dayton for a week. It went alright. There was a lot of noise in the house, so I couldn't focus on any of thw work I had to get done. On Thanksgiving my dad and I drove to west Dayton, to the old neighborhood, and we also saw No Country for Old Men--it was all pretty great. Robin told me once about how her dad, in a mid-life crisis, took her along on a drive to Wichita, KS to find his childhood house.

"When we got there, we were only there for five minutes and then we turned around and drove back."
"Yeah? How far away is Wichita?"
"I don't know. We had a full tank of gas and we used all of it."

Happy Birthday Miriam

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 23:01:32 GMT

From dudes you like:

And me.

KC

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 05:12:36 GMT

I write so poorly in these journal entries I wonder if people I think I can write at all.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty good--teaching, class, work, etc. I'm starting to feel more settled in to the city and within the social circles I'm running with--the anxiety of getting to know the people around me has subsided, and I feel like, for the first time in three years, I've managed to balance quiet time with social time. If that's possible. It probably never really is possible.

The Writing Center hosted an open mic for the Number One--UMKC's undergrad/grad run literary magazine. A lot of the stuff was pretty terrible. Me and Lewis read pieces to a really small crowd--maybe four people were there: the old editor, the new editor, two undergraduates, the academic adviser to the magazine, Robin, Zac, and Corrie. It was informal, and we ate pizza paid for by the University for the event (or out of Number One's budget, I'm not sure). We all sat in soft chairs.

Ki (landmage) held a delayed Halloween party Saturday. I drank a lot of rum. And I used one of Ki's cats like a Tommy Gun--kind of like how Brandon would use his cat, Cerse.

I picked up the cat and held it by both sets of legs and pointed him at Ki, or maybe Robin, and shook him, making a machine gun noise with my mouth. Then I apologized.

Ki has a four year old son named Rook. He was dressed like a teenage mutant ninja turtle (Leonardo). He had to go to the bathroom, and Ki wasn't around, so Robin took him by the hand and they walked to the one that wasn't occupied.

At the end of the night Robin said that it was the first time she ever took another person's kid to use the bathroom--she had to help him get of the costume. He sat naked on the toilet, looked at her, and said

"You sure are pretty."

I figured everybody wanted to hear that. All of that.

The one right decision I've made so far

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:59:11 GMT

Suck it Omaha, Cleveland, Detroit, Des Moines, Nashville, Cincinnati, Detroit, St. Louis, Detroit, Oklahoma City, Paris, Berlin, Seattle, Portland, Sioux Falls, Bismarck, Fargo, Detroit, Tokyo, Osaka, New Dehli, Dayton, and Detroit.

The secret to dying young tragically

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:58:49 GMT

The Kansas City Star got my writing sample--the sports editor is forwarding it to the guy that runs the high school sports section since he uses freelancers a lot more. I'm glad they're giving me a shot.

Off-topic, my return to Dayton should be accompanied with this and beer.

He loves KC

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:21:08 GMT

He loves it.